Musings Uncategorized women

To All the Ladies



About 6 years ago my marriage fell apart. It was so serious that my husband and I were separated for a few months and had already taken care of all the legal documentation for a divorce. Through those terribly painful times I discovered a few things I hadn’t really noticed before, the most surprising and prevalent of all being that I had given so much of myself to my family, I had nothing left of my own. I had no social life, no friends, no hobbies, no family close by. I was very lonely.

Like bad things often do, this situation led me into doing something I probably would have never done otherwise; I joined a women’s social group and actually went to a meeting. For an introvert like me this was HUGE! And really, really hard. I am so glad I did, though.

So here’s a shout out to the wonderful and diverse women in my Meetup group (you know who you are) who have been a steady source of encouragement, social interaction and just plain companionship throughout these few years. I may not say it often (or at all. I am an introvert, after all) but I am so grateful for your friendship (and my newly-found skills for poker. I can always use that as my backup career should my current one not pan out). Through or because of them I re-discovered my love for many things I had left behind; dance, knitting, reading, and just relating to others.


We just had our monthly poker night. We don’t play for money (none of us could really afford it) and we don’t take it very seriously at all. But the few hours we spend together, making jokes, trying to (normally unsuccessfully) bluff each other, or just relaxing are—like the ad says—priceless. The little things like the “loud table”, the sudden interjecting of off-the-wall words that makes all of us stop and listen (not an easy task), the stampedes to the kitchen in search of strawberry shortcakes, the look on our hostess’ eyes when another player trumps the already awesome hand on the table, and the amazing snacks make a difficult day so much easier to swallow.

My marriage has thankfully been mended and we never went through with the divorce, but I will be forever grateful of its unplanned “side effects”. Sometimes we all need a kick in the butt to learn what life is all about. Like Kate Bush’s song Them Heavy People says:

They arrived at an inconvenient time.
I was hiding in a room in my mind.
They made me look at myself. I saw it well.
I’d shut the people out of my life.


Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Them heavy people help me.
Them heavy people hit me in a soft spot.
Rolling the ball, rolling the ball, rolling the ball to me.


My ladies’ group was IT and for that I thank you.


  1. Although I’m single, I feel just the same way about the Meetup group as a whole and the poker group in particular! I was hanging on to my daughter for my social life, my Mount Vernon friends were off in different parts of the country, and I was at my wits end to improve my life. I cherish the women I’ve met through this group. I am very happy that your marriage is now in a better place, and I know I’m a happier, more fulfilled person now than I was four years ago.


  2. As one from the “loud table” I can say, without embarrassment, you are loved by us in the group. You are funny, thoughtful and kind. You make a mean rice pudding and always have a smile on your face. This women’s group was a savior for me as well. We are lucky, lucky women who have found a group such as this. I am not the same person I was when I went in search of a way to handle the sorrow of becoming an empty-nester. This group of women have helped me grow and flourish and to find myself again. So very much to be thankful for!


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