Recipe for Disaster-Book Review

A Recipe for Disaster: A deliciously feel-good romanceA Recipe for Disaster: A deliciously feel-good romance by Belinda Missen

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

A romance about second chances. Since I believe in second chances (some would say a bit too much) I identified with the main character–the roller coaster of emotions she was on, wanting and not wanting, not knowing what to trust or what to believe, in love and angry, forgiving and resentful… I could go on, lol.
I can’t say I was “in love” with her husband which I guess was the author’s intention. I was never quite sure whether he was trustworthy and that he truly loved her or if he was just playing her. The story is told from the main character’s POV so we kind of struggle with our feelings for her husband alongside her.
Those who love a story sprinkled with food will love this one. At times, it actually made me hungry. All in all a well-written, entertaining and easy read with a satisfying end.

View all my reviews

Not Being Second (flash fiction)

***It’s been a while since I posted any flash fiction, so here it goes 🙂 Enjoy.***

“She wanted something else, something different, something more. Passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second.”

Nicholas Spark “The Notebook

She had read that quote and it spoke to her. It gave words to what she had felt now for years. Too many years of analyzing, blaming herself, trying to make sense of what she wanted. Her husband, her friends, even her therapist often asked her, “What exactly do you want from your marriage?” Until she read that quote, she had no way of articulating how she felt, even to herself.

Something as simple as not being second.” In her marriage, in her life in general, she had always come second. Or third. She couldn’t remember an instance where she had been first in someone’s life other than her own parents’. She was always the afterthought, the one who is useful but not fun or wanted.

When she first got married she found out quickly she was not at the top of her husband’s list of priorities. First came his own family, second his sports, third his career, and then herself. The wedding vows, for better or for worse, turned into maybe if nothing else more important comes up. Even in sickness she found herself a faraway second to career or family. Her needs were never met with a kind ear but rather a pointing finger at how inconvenient her requests were. Everybody, including neighbors she barely knew, were more important than her.

tree-738816_1920

She made excuses. Things would get better later on, marriage was a new thing to him, he’d come around eventually.

There were big gifts on Christmas and birthdays, attempts at appeasing her once in a while. Big gestures instead of the little daily kindnesses she really was looking for. She had never been much of a material girl. Never one for diamonds, expensive clothes, or fancy gadgets. She wanted her husband to ask her why she was sad instead of getting mad at her because she was sulking. She wanted her husband to side with her–or at least support her–when she didn’t agree with his family or friends. She wanted a hand to hold on to when she didn’t feel well. An attentive ear when she shared something that was important to her. Instead she got irritated looks and sudden changes of subject.

As the years went by things didn’t change. In many ways it got worse. The career was replaced by a crowd of friends, concerts, bars, parties… She stopped going with him. She stopped trying to be there for him because he was not there for her. No one to share that trip of a lifetime with, or her joy and excitement at having accomplished a dream. No one to talk to.

She blamed herself. She had put on weight, she was boring, she was an introvert and was uncomfortable in social situations he thrived on. It was her fault he didn’t find anything attractive in spending time with her, in talking to her, in sharing those small moments a marriage is built on.

She was unhappy. She was lonely. Tears danced in her eyes as soon as she woke up in the morning and when she fell asleep. She envied fictitious couples in literature and TV and bitterness filled her heart like noxious fumes.

The truth was she didn’t want anything complicated, nothing expensive or hard to do. All she wanted was to be first once in a while. Something as simple as not being second.

old-164980_1280

 

Rant of the week

Time for a rant! Guys, you may want to abstain from reading this unless you are pretty sure you do not fit into the male category I call the “consumer husband”.

I have several pet peeves but this one probably tops all others. In fact, it may not even qualify as a pet peeve. I absolutely loathe this trend of consumerism in marriage. What do I mean by this? I am talking about husbands (I am sure some women do it, too but I don’t know any personally) who think it is perfectly acceptable and justified to “throw away” your spouse and children if things are not going according to plan.

Married for 20 years with two children? Wife not satisfying all your needs? Kids not turning out how you wanted them to turn out? No problem! Get rid of them and start all over again.

It is truly scary to think of how many women (families really) I know that have been victims of this mindset. Now, let’s be very clear. I totally believe that if things are absolutely awful in a marriage, say there is abuse or lack of respect, drug problems or alcoholism do get out of it as soon as you can. This is not what I am referring to in this blog.

We all would love to be able to be young again, start again, have a second chance at doing it right. We all have disappointments in life and not many of us can say their lives turned out just the way they envisioned them. But that does not justify betraying those who love us the most, those who sacrificed a lot for us, those who depend on and need us. It does not justify throwing a lifetime of memories away for the sake of the novelty of new ones. Marriages and people are not disposable. They are well worth fighting for and those who don’t are cowards in my book.

I am ranting for all the women I know who were discarded like old shoes and begrudged of their rights by consumer husbands with no moral standards and incapable of loving anyone but themselves. I am ranting against this concept (that applies to a lot more than just marriages) of don’t-like-it-replace-it.

Marriage is messy. We all know that. Marriage is also a promise, an oath that should carry weight and have deep meaning. Not something you discard as soon as the going gets tough. Enough said. Rant over. At ease, people, at ease!